Compliments: The Dos & Don’ts

advice, compliments, controversial, do and don'ts, words to live by
  1. Do use them sparingly. If you continually compliment someone every single time you see them, the magic begins to wear off and they might start to think of you as being jealous or a suck-up.
  2. Don’t compliment someone unless you genuinely mean it. This goes for anyone, but especially for those in customer service. It becomes quite obvious it is part of your job when you compliment everyone in line as they pay for their stuff. The specialness you feel when someone gives you an unprompted compliment is unbridled, but when it’s just a robotic “Your outfit is super cute, I love it” and she’s said it to the three other people in front of you… well, you know.
  3. If you are going to compliment someone without actually meaning it, at least say it in a believable tone. Because nothing is worse than receiving a compliment you know was fake.
  4. Do not feel the need to “trade” compliments. If someone you are interacting with tells you they love your shoes, don’t say “thanks, and I love your jacket.” You just sound insincere.
  5. Do not fish for compliments. If you want to go fishing, take your fishing pole and bait and head over to the nearest lake. There is nothing worse than someone who feels the need to gain validation from others through dropping hints.
  6. Do refrain from giving your friends loaded compliments such as “OMG you look so skinny in that dress” or “Those shorts make your butt look so small.” These are superficial and could make your friend feel uncomfortable or ashamed of their body. Focus on non-material centered compliments like “You are so good at staying positive.”
  7. Do accept the compliment. Just say “thank you” and take the freaking compliment. Someone went out of their way and just gave you an honest opinion of what they like about you. Don’t think you’re not worth it, or that you don’t agree, or tear yourself down. Just. Take. The. Compliment.
  8. And finally, do make it a habit to give one genuine compliment a day. I find complimenting someone is a gift that gives to both the receiver, as well as the sender. When you make someone else feel good, you feel good in return, and that’s a great feeling.

-Collins

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