Dashed

controversial, creative, death, decision, Life, poem, Poem, poetry, Poetry, self esteem, truth, Uncategorized

Turner wrote another poem? Madness. Here it is.

-Turner

A man of many words,
A woman of many thoughts,
Silence radiating through,
Communication a flat line,
Hopes and dreams pushed under the rug,
Fear and loathing spreading,
Resentment and pain festering in minds,
Inevitable death and dashed desires,
Never moving and never changing,
A man of not enough words,
A woman of no thoughts.

To everyone out there.

advice, beautiful, beauty, Blog, compliments, creative, self esteem, Uncategorized

Sometimes…no, almost always, writing is my therapy. I needed a session today and I’ve decided to share it with everyone. I hope this helps someone else out there too.

-Turner

I’ve always tried to believe that beauty was in the eye of the beholder. That it came from within. That we should be looking at personality, not looks.
All the cliches, all the words of encouragement given to you by people who didn’t understand what it was like to look in the mirror and see a monster. To feel like someone, but have the reflection of someone else. A person who is unwanted, unattractive. Lumpy, large, freckled, pock marked…whatever it may be that you see. That I see.
Now, some may try to put the blame on society and the media for putting people, especially women, under a certain scrutiny. We are forced to play with Barbies with disproportionate bodies. We watch music videos and shows with young women with skinny bodies, perfect skin and long, glossy hair. Advertisers tell us how easy it is to become active, get a gym membership. Take these diet pills. Follow this. Do that. All the while raking in the cash of women who believe that what they are being told is true. That if we do this, we will feel better about ourselves. I do believe this has a very large adverse affect on our thinking, but it’s not all. Because it’s not always about our environment…
It is about us. Our sense of being, knowing who we are, what we look like and feeling less than enough. We are in constant competition with ourselves, we want to be better, do better. But our best never seems to be enough. I speak to all those women who fall victim to self doubt, lack of motivation. To those who see what I see when they look in the mirror.
I want above all things to allow myself to just be…to be who I am, not what I look like. I want to believe those damn cliches and I want to feel better. I want to fall prey to trends, I just want to let go and fall. But I don’t…because despite this all, despite the fear of reflection, fear of rejection and the all consuming grief I can feel sometimes…I know I AM better than this. I am beautiful, even when I don’t feel like I am, even when I can’t get myself into the store to try on new clothes, or when my skin breaks out and I try to turn away from people’s gazes. And you are too.
I just wanted you all out there to know, that I see you. I feel you. You’re beautiful, we all are.
Cliche, yes please.

Twitter: turnercollins_

My poem titled “You’re not ugly at all”

advice, inspiration, life, poem, poetry, self esteem

 

Have you ever noticed, that when you look at yourself,

Really look at yourself,

You’re not ugly at all

 

I don’t mean how you look when you’ve just finished your face in the mirror

Not after you’ve perfected that cat-eye liner

Not after you’ve applied your bright red lips

Not after you’ve blushed your cheeks just the right amount

 

I mean when your face is naked

When you’ve just stepped out of the shower

When you can see those freckles,

When you can see that acne

When you can see those bags under your eyes

 

You spend too much time hating those tiny imperfections,

Too much time shredding your self esteem

But the makeup gets caught in the cracks of your façade

And those all too obvious insecurities are magnified

You try so hard to cover those scars

That you can’t see you’re just making it worse

 

Why is it so difficult to love what is natural?

Why are you made to feel bad about something you were born with?

About something out of your control?

Why does it always seen like everyone looks perfect but you?

Like out of a whole production line of dolls, you were the only defective one?

 

Because society says so

Because the models in the magazines you read look like alien beings of perfection

But why do you listen to what society says?

Haven’t you realized that 99% of society does not look anything like the ideal of beauty they advocate?

Those models in those magazines don’t even like what they look like, even though they are deemed the ideal

 

You need to love what you were born with

You need to love who you are when you are alone in the bathroom, no makeup on, just you and your reflection

Because if you heal those internal scars that you tried so hard to cover with makeup

You won’t be broken anymore, you’ll be whole

And you’ll find that you’re a hell of a lot prettier than you gave yourself credit for

You’ll realize that you weren’t ugly at all

-Collins