my poem titled “Put the Fire out”

life, love, poem, poetry, Uncategorized, writing

Bloody teardrops

Fall onto the fire

Trying to extinguish the flames,

But they sizzle out.

Because shedding blood alone

Can’t put the fire out.

But if we bleed together,

We can stop the blaze.

We can inhale the smoke

And disappear into the night,

Like so many shadows.

-Collins

 

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my poem titled “Homes & Houses”

life, love, poem, poetry, Uncategorized, writing

Home

My home

House

My house

A house isn’t a home

But a home can be a house

Feel safe

Feel scared

Like standing on the street in the dark alone

Loud like a train station

Quiet like a library

So many books strewn around

Buried in words

Words screamed in faces

Words whispered behind backs

Ignored

Angry

Loved

Accepted

A coliseum of conflicting opinions

A sing song around a camp fire

Works of art on the walls

Some painted with brushes

Others with fists

Loner in a crowded place

Crowded in your own room

In a room that isn’t really yours

See yourself in the mirror

In the eyes of your family

In your reflection in the window

Looking out at out people’s houses

Other people’s homes

Do they live in homes or houses?

-Collins

my poem titled “Magician’s Assistant”

life, love, motivational, poem, poetry, Uncategorized, writing

one word moniker,

magician.

having the magical ability to disappear

when needed most.

Show me a magic trick

that doesn’t involve smoke and mirrors.

You put love in a box

and failed to make it reappear.

you sawed my heart in half

and wheeled it back stage.

you pulled my emotions from your sleeve.

like colorful scarves,

and discarded them to the audience.

You locked me in a container of water

and made me hold my breath, while you held the key.

but I’ve learned a few things being a magician’s assistant,

and soon I’ll be the one pulling the disappearing act.

-Collins

quote of the day

advice, inspiration, life, love, motivational, quote, quote of the day

“Be somebody who makes everybody feel like a somebody.”

Our job in life is not to make people around us feel lesser. If we are here, we mind as well make life a little brighter. If you have the opportunity to do that for someone else, do it. Cheer them up, comfort them, lend a hand, offer help, do whatever they need in order to feel better. Nothing feels better than that warm feeling around your heart when you truly help someone. So instead of tearing someone down, build them up. People will think of you as someone to remember, because chances are they haven’t had many people do that.

-Collins

Things that suck about having anxiety #1

get to know me, inspiration, life, love, motivational, story, thoughts, Uncategorized

I feel like more people have anxiety disordes than people in general think, and unfortunately, I am one of those people. I’m starting a series of posts that share what it’s like to deal with anxiety. This is hard, because I don’t like to feel vulnerable or embarassed, but my hopes are that someone suffering with something similar can know they are not alone.

The first thing that sucks about having anxiety is watching something on tv that, even though it’s completely irrational, makes you feel anxious. Usually it’s a situation that you suddenly imagine you were in. It could be people crawling through air ducks, or people lost in a forest, or even people in a crowded train car. These are things you avoid because they are triggers, and even though you are safe and sound in your living room, your breath has sped up and your stomach is now upset. 

I often avoid going to movies for the same reason. Crowds and being stuck in one place don’t go over well with me, so it’s hard to keep it together when the explosions are loud and the action is intense. 

It sounds silly, but the mind of an anxious person is an irrational one. Accepting that is one of the most difficult things someone can do.

-Collins

my short story titled “Dreams”

character, love, shortstory, story, writing

dreamThe dream came slowly at first, then faster and faster like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle falling into place. It was a little like looking through a glass bottom boat, only the players in the scene were visible. Sometimes I could see the faint tracery of leaves in the distance, or the glistening sheen of rain, but that was all.

This time it was night, and the boy and girl were silhouetted in the profile, their faces very close together. A lantern sat between their curled bodies and the faint light danced over their murmuring lips. I strained to hear them, that was the hard part, always was. Like trying to listen to a conversation through a wall with a glass.

“We can’t keep doing this,” I heard her say.

I could make out his pained expression, his downturned lips.

“They can’t keep us apart, you know we are meant to be together.”

She stares into his eyes and slowly reaches a pale hand to caress his cheek. She lets her fingers linger for a moment. “Fate, perhaps?”

His teeth glint in the lantern’s light as he smiles wide. “Only fate could conspire to gift me with such beauty and such turmoil.”

“There cannot be light without the dark.”

He leans forward, tilting his head slightly, until his lips meet hers. They stay like that for a moment, until a rustle in the trees rouses their attention.

Her eyes become alert and she pushes him away. “Quick, leave before they catch you.”

His hair falls into his eyes as he backs away, bowing deeply with a flourish, playfully. “Until we meet again.”

She watches him retreat into the woods, hears him laughing lightly, the sound like church bells chiming in the distance.

The scene begins to swirl, shifting and mixing together, like dye into water. And all at once, I’m laying with my check on my desk, where I dozed off earlier. I pull my notebook from my top drawer and flip to the next open page, scrawling down what I just saw before I forget a single detail. The notebook is almost full.

-Collins

instagram: turnercollins_

Beautiful People

inspiration, life, love, motivational

One of the greatest gifts of life is meeting people that shape you. Those people that just happen to bump into you on your way through life. I have met two of those people thus far.

The first was my mom’s boss at the mechanic’s garage where she worked. He was a humble elderly Indian man with traditional values. I was young then, but I still knew he was special. Goodness poured out of him. He would lend my mother a car to come pick my sister and I up from school, he would send her home with nan bread. He would help those in need with car trouble for no cost. He would treat people with such kindness. I remembered this even then. It was why my mom and I went back to surprise him one Christmas. We hadn’t seen him in seven years, but we wanted to show him we hadn’t forgotten him. We brought his favourite sugar cookies and he teared up. We teared up. It was emotional and it was beautiful. I still think about him, and to this day, I have never met another man as kind and caring and inherently good as him.

The second was a female customer at my place of work. She has such an outgoing personality, and thought it can be overwhelming at first, you settle into it. Once you start a conversation with her, you are wrapped in trust. She opens up and shares intimates details of her life like it’s nothing at all. It’s so refreshing, because most people would find it strange or uncomfortable. But with her, it just seems, natural. Her openness and motherly aura put me in a good place. I find I feel my day has gotten better after talking with her. To break past the barriers of small talk and discuss personal things, it makes me feel honored. Positivity is infectious, and though this woman has gone through some trying times, positivity still surrounds her. I love that. I am not that bold, but I’ve always wanted to tell her how she is such a beautiful spirit.

These people are so genuinely good, their souls are cast from solid gold. They are so few and far between that I truly cherish when I meet one. Though we all muddle through life with our heads down, blind to the people around us, it doesn’t mean we can’t positively affect people. We’ve become so consumed in our jobs, money, material things, that we forget to connect with people on a human level. I encourage you to think of anyone you’ve met that’s stood out in your life and just feel that for a moment, how lucky you are to have met them.

-Collins

 instagram: turnercollins_