Scars

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My body wasn’t the same anymore, the scars and silver lines providing a constant reminder of the thing that I lost, that I could never get back.
I ran my finger along the largest one, stretching from my navel to pubic bone. Mesmerized by the silky feeling of it. I’m not sure how long I stared at the mark, imagining my life as something different before he entered the room, silently and reserved, as he always was.
“You’re beautiful.” Is all he said. I don’t look up, not wanting to see the look of longing and loss on his face. I see it enough in my own. Instead, I pull down my top, hiding the marks of her life from us both. It’s only a nasty reminder and I’m not even sure why I continued to torture myself. Maybe because I deserved it.
I finally turned toward him, my husband, Ben. His eyes traveled up my body, landing on my own. His dark scuff perfectly sculpted, his even darker hair coiffed on top, dark brown eyes with just a hint of amber in them. He was a beautiful man, he gave me a beautiful child…and I took it away from him. I’m not sure how he can stand to look at me with anything but hate and regret in his eyes. It’s why I shifted my gaze away almost instantly. I knew I was pushing him away, but it was what he needed but hadn’t yet realized. He didn’t deserve a wife who couldn’t bare children, whose body killed innocent souls. I was evil. He was angel.
I sat down on the edge of the bed, playing with the frayed edge of shirt. Much like my life, it too had begun to unravel. The bed dipped beside me as Ben sat down. His hand grasped mine, pulling it away from the wayward strand.
“It’s okay, Hannah.” He said simply, with comfort. I didn’t feel it though, I couldn’t. He didn’t know what he was saying, it would never be okay again. I ripped my hand from his.
“Hannah…please. I’m your husband, I’m here for you but I can feel you pulling away from me.”
I shake my head, letting my blonde hair fall over my eyes, sheilding myself from him. “It’s not okay, it will never be okay…I’m..broken, useless.” I finally admitted.
His calloused finger gently pushed aside a lock of hair, relocating it behind my ear. “Never.” He whispered against my cheek, his warm breath ghosting across my face. His lips gently ran back and forth over my heated skin. A warm hand engulfed the other side, pulling me toward him. I tried to close my eyes, avoid the connection, but he didn’t allow it. “You are the most beautiful, couragous woman I have ever met. I don’t want to hear you ever speak about yourself that way again, Hannah.”
I scoffed, not wanting to believe anything he was saying. After what I did…what my body did, I could never believe that. “What about Julie, Ben? I killed her. I killed our daughter.” I spit at him, he flinches but his eyes don’t waver, I wish they would. I wish he would give me just a little bit of vulnerability I could feed off, so I could save him…

To be continued.

Turner

A Review!

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Hey there, Turner here. I know, I know. Where have I been? I’ve been asking myself the same thing. I’ve currently been trying to finish the last few chapters of Collins and I previous project, whilst taking on five read to reviews from some pretty neat authors. I’ve just finished one called Leo Rising by Christine Besze. This was a great, action packed mafia romance, I’m excited to read her other works. Take a look at my review and check the book out for yourself!

I just want to start out by saying that this book totally caught me off guard, in the best way. I was a little unsure at the beginning, but all the build up and mystery was worth it for the explosive ending. Once I started, I couldn’t put this down. The writing is fluid and the voice of the characters really speaks through. There were so many twists and turns it kept me hooked and my mind guessing.

This story is about a young eighteen year old, unsuspecting girl named Tori who’s unknown past lands her in the biggest danger of her life, as a target for the Italian mob. Through this book it journeys her life as she deals with high school, boys (a particularly attractive boy named Theo), hard ass gym teachers and deathly situations all whilst learning about who she truly is. A true coming of age novel in an adventurous, action packed and drop dead sexy way. The steam was damn hot!

The characters in this book felt real and connectable. I understood them, rooted for them and bite my nails waiting to see what would happen to them. The secondary characters were great and I can’t wait to see what more this author has in store for them.

The only thing that could have pushed this to a five star for me was a faster paced beginning and a little less of the high school description and life.

If you’re like me and a love a good mafia romance story with action, gun fights and sexy moments, pick this one up, you won’t regret it!”

A book review

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I recently read and reviewed a very sweet and funny novel by the talented Cassie Mae. (Totally check out her books.) Here is that review!

5 “two squeeze” stars!

Have you ever read a book and connected to it so much that the characters not only become real to you, but you became them? That’s what this book was for me. I felt like I was Liz. I understood everything she said, did, felt and I loved Landon as much her as well.

This book is about what comes after the happily ever after. Liz and Landon have been together for years and are finally tying the knot. Exciting right? Not always. Life isn’t always a fairytale and there are hard things to deal with, not to mention the trivial things like socks on the floor. When Liz comes to the conclusion that her relationship has become stagnant in some areas, she proposes a bet. Winner gets to pick where they honeymoon. And what ensues is one of the most realistic portrayals of love and relationships that I have ever had the pleasure of reading.

This book was well written, well thought out and had me laughing, swooning and fanning myself over the sexual tension. It was sweet, flirty, fun and a pleasure to be immersed in. I didn’t want to leave their world.

I recommend this book to everyone. Seriously. If you love love, humour, chocolate and cheesecake, zombie props and movie sets, cute guys and trips to chocolateville, read this. You won’t regret it

-Turner