Thou shalt not dye their hair unnatural colors

controversial, inspiration, life, motivational, writing

Why does the color of a person’s hair reflect their nature?

Why does the amount of ink on someone’s skin reflect them as bad people?

Why does the amount of clothing covering someone’s body reflect their sexuality?

I use the word “reflect” as not a straightforward meaning, but an extrapolation to a larger issue. Why does how someone chooses to represent themselves lead others to jump to conclusions about that person? I am extremely grateful that I have an open and artistic mind. I can see these things and appreciate them as art. I can also see them for what they are intended to be. A true reflection of what a person feels like inside or want’s to show others.

I understand that people from older generations did not grow up in the diverse world we younger generations have, and accepting these things can be difficult. They often have negative views on piercings and tattoos as mutilation. In fact, much of this prejudice has to do with religion. I have often seen religious people doing things like giving disapproving looks, whispering, teaching their children that deviating from the norm is bad. Hell, I’ve even seen religious groups protesting outside heavy metal concerts. Have we not progressed past all this yet? From what I understand, I don’t think that anywhere in the 10 commandments does it say “Thou shalt not dye their hair unnatural colors,” and “Thou shalt not put a tattoo needle to their skin.” I thought that loving thy neighbours and accepting others was stressed though. Funny how messages like that can get lost in translation.

We should know better and not need a book to tell us right from wrong. We are beings with a conscience and should know the difference. Because treating these people differently is a form of bullying. And if we are not okay with kids bullying kids, why do we allow adults bullying adults?

Fundamentally, we are human beings, and regardless of how we choose to present ourselves to the world, we all deserve to be treated with respect and kindness. I have always admired these more extreme individuals for showing themselves in such visual ways, open to a wide array of reactions from strangers. I hope that as time goes on being yourself becomes the norm. I know this will take a long time, I’m not an idiot. But I am optimistic.

-Collins

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Compliments: The Dos & Don’ts

advice, compliments, controversial, do and don'ts, words to live by
  1. Do use them sparingly. If you continually compliment someone every single time you see them, the magic begins to wear off and they might start to think of you as being jealous or a suck-up.
  2. Don’t compliment someone unless you genuinely mean it. This goes for anyone, but especially for those in customer service. It becomes quite obvious it is part of your job when you compliment everyone in line as they pay for their stuff. The specialness you feel when someone gives you an unprompted compliment is unbridled, but when it’s just a robotic “Your outfit is super cute, I love it” and she’s said it to the three other people in front of you… well, you know.
  3. If you are going to compliment someone without actually meaning it, at least say it in a believable tone. Because nothing is worse than receiving a compliment you know was fake.
  4. Do not feel the need to “trade” compliments. If someone you are interacting with tells you they love your shoes, don’t say “thanks, and I love your jacket.” You just sound insincere.
  5. Do not fish for compliments. If you want to go fishing, take your fishing pole and bait and head over to the nearest lake. There is nothing worse than someone who feels the need to gain validation from others through dropping hints.
  6. Do refrain from giving your friends loaded compliments such as “OMG you look so skinny in that dress” or “Those shorts make your butt look so small.” These are superficial and could make your friend feel uncomfortable or ashamed of their body. Focus on non-material centered compliments like “You are so good at staying positive.”
  7. Do accept the compliment. Just say “thank you” and take the freaking compliment. Someone went out of their way and just gave you an honest opinion of what they like about you. Don’t think you’re not worth it, or that you don’t agree, or tear yourself down. Just. Take. The. Compliment.
  8. And finally, do make it a habit to give one genuine compliment a day. I find complimenting someone is a gift that gives to both the receiver, as well as the sender. When you make someone else feel good, you feel good in return, and that’s a great feeling.

-Collins

Is a woman be defined by the length of her hemline? Yes.

controversey, feminism, opinion, sex, women

This is a question that has always been steeped in controversy. There are usually two polar opposing views, but I wanted to share my take. Bear with me as I have to un-jumble the gazillion different opinions that are bouncing around inside my head.

Let’s start with the media’s view of women in general. We are usually portrayed as objects of sexual temptation and desire. This is not to say being a sexual being is wrong, but the use of the label “object” is what holds the negative connotation. In being labeled an object, we, as women, are broken down into pieces. We become “the girl with the big boobs,” or “The chick with the nice ass.” Rarely is a woman sought after because of her intellect or her personality.

Now here is the second problem. Women now have to choose how they want to display these assets. Do they want to dress conservatively, so as not to draw attention to their bodies? Or do they want to celebrate and flaunt the assets they are proud of by dressing more revealingly. In my opinion, neither option is wrong. But again, that nasty little connotation with dressing revealingly creeps into your mind, whether you like it or not. But now it gets a little confusing…

The media hypes up images of scantily clad women rocking their bodies, but society frowns upon that sort of thing. Many females in the music industry can be seen performing in skimpy leotards and other costumes that leave little to the imagination. Yet no one has a problem with this. But if an everyday women were to wear the same thing out in public, she would get quite a few stares and comments. How this disconnect happened, I don’t know.

Basically the whole issue boils down to sex. If a woman’s body were not sexualized to the extent it is, women could be free to wear what they wanted, and wouldn’t have to worry about unwanted attention. Everyone has the right to choose what she wants to wear; she can wear the damn miniskirt if she wants to.

There is a catch though. Our society won’t change its view overnight, and it’s going to be quite a long time before significant change can be made. So if a woman is going to be wearing a low cut mini-dress with no back and side cut-outs, you’d better believe she should be aware of the attention she is going to warrant. I’m not saying she should have the unwanted attention in the first place when she is clearly proud of her body, but it’s the unfortunate reality of the present.

I could ramble on forever, but you get the point. Please let me know in the comments what your take on this topic is.

-Collins