Something lighter

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I’ve recently been working on a comedy piece about a really awkward personal assistance who gets her dream job. It’s been quite a departure from the normally dark subject matter I seem to tackle. I know, what does that say, eh? Anyways. This is separate from Collins, here is a little snippet of my character suffering first day jitters. Enjoy! Also, keep your eyes peeled for more of this to come!

By eight-thirty I think I’ve had six mini heart attacks. First was when I woke up 6 hours before my alarm scared that I wouldn’t hear the blasphemous thing and miss my first day on the job.
The second…when I did that again three hours later.
The third…yeah, ten minutes before my alarm was actually due to go off. I decided just to get up at that point.
The next came when I couldn’t decide what to wear. I knew a skirt would not work, then I’d have to wear nylons and I wasn’t going to face that kind of disaster again. I settled for dark grey dress pants with a slouchy royal purple camisole and a grey cardigan. I think I look alright, just not me. But…me is not what I’m going for here. Not after the last time I met him. Or…the time I talked to him on the phone. No, I have to be Elizabeth PA extradonaire. I have to kill this job because he really is taking a huge chance by hiring me after that disaster of an interview.
The fifty heart attack came when I couldn’t find my car keys. Or cell phone. Or my left show to my favorite pair of black kitten heels. My only work appropriate shoes. The keys happened to be in my purse, where I left them. The cellphone in the living room…but the shoe? Yeah. No where to be found. I ended up having to wear my six inch stripper heels I wore once to a club and regretted it for two days after as the blisters healed. But I had no choice. I couldn’t wear my chucks or my skate shoes.

Keep your eyes open for the reason for her sixth heart attack that morning!

-Turner

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get to know me

book, book quote, character, quote, writing

Alrighty, let’s get to know our comic relief in “Unit 17.” He goes by the name of Nikki.

Kay hauls out the man and lays him on one gurney with a small grunt. “If you don’t need anything else, I’ll be retiring to my barrack now?” She says. She is still angry about Nikki and won’t be letting it go for a long time.

“Dismissed.” I watch her turn on her heels and go. She walks with the force of a tornado and she pulls off her fingerless leather gloves and throws them onto the ground under a floodlight before she disappears into the darkness.

Nikki, who’s just finished loading the woman onto the second gurney regards me with an abashed look. “She hates me doesn’t she?”

My mouth twists, searching for the right words. “She hates almost everyone. Don’t take it personally. It’s just because you’re the rookie that she’s going extra hard on you. That, and because she takes missions seriously. She doesn’t think you do.”

“But I do!” he protests, shoving his hands into his pockets. “I just have to get used to my powers you know. I’ve been thinking about it the whole ride here. I’m pretty sure because the kids were so close together, I registered them as one person. I’ll work on that.”

I grin a little as his self-assessment. “See? You can learn from your mistakes. You’ll do just fine.”

Three of the scientists guide the gurneys back up the steps and through the large double doors. Off to do whatever they do with Rejecteds. Teddy stands awkwardly at the foot of the stairs.

“You are dismissed Go get some rest, okay?”

Nikki smiles, obviously realizing he’s been forgiven. Nodding animatedly he says, “Sure thing, thanks Theo. I mean, sir.” He gives his best solute and jogs away.

“He’s got quite a lot of energy, hasn’t he?” Teddy says in his soft British accent when Nikki’s gone.

“That’s an understatement,” I chuckle.

-Collins

my poem titled “No Such Thing as Ghosts”

character, funny, poem, poetry, supernatural, writing

This was just a funny idea that popped into my head. Not my best, but I like it. Enjoy!

The light from the hallway slips under my door

And bleeds onto my bedroom floor

Illuminating just enough

Like a lone street lamp on a long stretch of highway

For my sleep tinkered eyes to see

Something I had not expected

 

A woman with pearls draped around her neck

And a man in a bolo hat giving her cheek a peck

They stand just outside the reach of the hallway light

But their figures are cast white against the darkness

Glowing with subtlety light a dimming flashlight

 

I pull the covers farther up exposing just one eye

And the couple stops just long enough to heave a grunting sigh

They float over to my bed with curious faces

Like somehow I’m the most interesting thing of three possible in this room

Giving each other a glance they begin to laugh

A floating sound not anchored to a body

 

Two long shadows interrupt the hallway light under my door

And the couple looks down at me and chortles once more

When my mother opens the door and pokes her head in

Asking what all the noise is

I simply say that ghosts are responsible

“There’s no such thing as ghosts” she frowns

When she closes the door I look to my left

And the couple chuckling silently seem to disagree

-Collins