The Jumping off Point

advice, friendship, Inspiration

 There comes a strange jumping off point as a friendship progresses. I’ve walked cautiously up to this point and peered over the edge into the foggy and unclear ravine. The point I’m talking about is assumption.
As a friendship progresses, several assumptions begin to materialize. You begin to think things like: This person likes me too, this person understands me, I know what this person means when they say this. Things like that. They do the same with you as well.
The most frightening assumption is that this person needs you as much as you need them. When you voice your assumption to this person in a way that you open yourself up to rejection, you’re getting somewhere.
It’s extremely easy to think to yourself that this person derives happiness from you, that they care for you equally, but until you voice these thoughts to that person, you will never know if those feelings are reciprocated. Exposing yourself in this way can lead to self-doubt. Suddenly you start thinking things like: What if they don’t feel the same way, what if they think of me differently, what if they think I’m clingy?
The defining point in a friendship is when you put someone else’s needs before your own. When, even though a decision or choice makes you scared, you make it anyway. It’s hard to push past the selfishness that we all feel when it comes to a dear friend. But if a hard choice needs to be made that benefits them, regardless of how it makes you feel, you need to let them know that you support it.
The point that I’m trying to get across in this ramble is that you both need to be exposed to grow. Honesty can be both beautiful and terrifying. Friendship is a living, breathing organism that needs constant attention and a raw diet.
-Collins

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